Will Becks and Posh retire to Prestbury?

When David Beckham retires from football, where will he decide to live?  Will he opt to stay in the LA sunshine or come back to England? Somehow, I don’t see him buying a little bungalow by the sea in Sussex.

Since he made his name – and the beginnings of his fortune – here in the North West, perhaps he will bring it all back to Prestbury.

There’s a lot to commend it.

Most of the Probus Clubs in the village – there are 5 of them – would surely make room for him. They all exist to keep the minds of retired folk agile and engaged. Admittedly, one of the 5 clubs is for ladies but, who is to say that they would not be averse to tinkering with their constitution in order to have Becks seated amongst them at their meetings?

He’ll need something a little more vigorous, I hear you say. Then the Bowls Club might tempt him. He would feel at home under their floodlights. The crown green wont be the flat track he is used to performing on but, if he can adapt his trademark trick of bending the football to that of curving the bowl, opponents will be in fear of him.

Of course, there would need to be guarantees. No more petulance, like kicking opponents as he did whilst lying on the floor to Argentina’s Diego Simone in the World Cup. But that was 14-years ago.

Posh might be a problem. There is only one dress shop in Prestbury but she could resurrect her singing career with the village’s Choral Society.

I don’t think Wilmslow will suit him. Yes, the town has a tattoo studio but, from what I have seen of his body, ‘Golden Balls’ (that’s Posh’s nickname for her husband, not mine), has only a couple of bare patches left for further fashion accessories. I can’t think any tattooist would wish to start scratching around in those areas.

What might be of interest to a retired man with an OBE is a new service which, the Wilmslow parlour is introducing. In May, it was blogging about tattoo removal by laser. Go on David, give it a go.

“My tattoos are all about the people in my life, my wife and sons, (this was before the birth of his daughter) who I want with me always. When you see me, you see the tattoos. You see an expression of how
I feel about Victoria and the boys. They’re part of me,” he wrote in his autobiography.

If he does retire to Prestbury, we can all forget any idea of becoming one of his ‘besties’.

“I’ve got three really good friends. It’s all you need,” he was reported as saying in the Telegraph. He didn’t name any of them so we are all on firm ground if we claim to be one of the chosen three. The idea of only three good friends runs at odds with his old boss, however. Sir Alex maintains you need four… to carry the coffin.

Perhaps Gary Neville is one of the inner circle. They were always close and were room mates whenever Man Utd were travelling and Gary was, after all, David’s Best Man.

So maybe there lies the clue as to whether Becks will retire somewhere here in the North West.

What gives me reason to suggest that is because Gary Neville is building a hotel up here. Will Becks be going into partnership with his old buddy?

Gone are the days when professional footballers could only afford to open a fish and chip shop or take the tenancy of a pub on retirement.

Neville’s hotel in Old Trafford will have 140 bedrooms. His old club, Man Utd, is objecting on grounds that it is not in line with its ‘holistic vision’. Sounds a tad like sour grapes and I bet Sir Alex was hurling a few hair-dryers when he heard the news that his former full-back hopes to start work on the hotel in February.

Should he decide to retire to Prestbury, I think a life-size statue in the village may be over the top but the parish council could consider an addition to the signs which advise you are entering the village.

How about Prestbury – The Posh Village? Or maybe one of the twisty roads in the village could be re-named Beckham’s Bends.

He’s a nice lad really and has managed to avoid most of the scandals awaiting professional footballers.

 

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